Pictures of Ava

Here our pictures of our precious little girl. I forgot to say in the last post that she was born at 10 oz. and 9.5 inches long. Included below are some of my favorite pics of Ava. I tried not to include ones people might think are scary. This is Brad's favorite picture of her. He says it looks like she is saying her bedtime prayers. We currently have this one framed and sitting on the piano. Brad came in last night as we were putting Ross to bed, and said with sad eyes, "I was looking at the picture." It was so cute.












I love looking at these pictures of her. I'm so glad we had the strength to take these. We also made a beautiful scrapbook for her that we had people sign at the funeral. Such a precious girl!

Ava's Birth Story

Below is the story of how I went into labor and the details of Ava's birth. It may or may not be something you want to read, but I wanted it as part of this online journal. Also, I'm hoping to have some pictures of her posted in the next week. Again, another heads up in case you don't want to see.

I lost my mucus plug (not realizing it) the night of Jan. 11. I had what I thought was cramping or Braxton Hicks starting the next morning getting worse throughout the day. I called the nurse, who said if I wasn't bleeding I should be fine. I went in for my 20 week ultrasound that night. The technician said "your cervix is really thin." I told him about the cramping/contractions. He immediately sent me to L&D at the hospital. I was already 1.5 cm dialated and 80% effaced. They gave me medicine to stop the contractions. It did nothing. The 2 counselors in the bishopric came to give me a blessing. Things got better for a brief moment, but then labor got worse. The doctor said the baby would be delivered tonight, and I was crushed. Ben, who had quickly gone home to retrieve something, was not with me. I called him and said I had bad news, and he better get back here fast! He was back shortly and helped me through all the contractions and natural labor (I progressed too fast to get the epidural). The nurse asked Ben and I if we wanted to see the baby after it was delivered. We both looked at each other and said we didn't know.

So within a couple hours of finding out we were having a girl, I gave birth to her at 12:25am on January 13, 2010 (It was also my birthday). The nurse asked again if I wanted to see her and this time I said yes. They placed her on my chest, and she was beautiful. We called the counselors in the bishopric again to come to the hospital to bless the baby and give her a name. In the meantime, with the help of a volunteer at the hospital, Ben helped dress the baby in a very cute pink dress, multi-colored bracelet and white bow for her hairless head. Then someone at the hospital asked us if we had picked a name. I turned to Ben and blurted, "Ava Marie". We had picked out the name Ava months before, but had never decided on a middle name. He agreed. The counselors arrived shortly thereafter. Brother Helvey told us he walked in the room and immediately his focus was Ben. Ben was standing by my bed holding Ava. Brother Helvey said he looked at Ben and said his face just radiated love. He had never seen anything like that before and would remember it the rest of his life. They spoke with us for a few minutes and left. The volunteer from the hospital wanted to take picures of us and the baby. Again, we had been unsure if we wanted to do this, but she convinced us (and boy are we thankful she did!) She was a perfect baby with all her fingers, toes, etc.. and lived for about 30 minutes. It was heartbreaking to watch her die in our arms and see the hospital do nothing since she was not 23 weeks yet.

I wanted to hold Ava so bad, but I was writhing in pain as my placenta refused to detach from my uterus. They were giving me Pitocin to try to help it along, so I was essentially in one major contraction. It didn't do anything, and I kept bleeding and was in tremendous pain. After 2 hours of this, they decided to do a D&C. They put me under general anesthesia and performed the surgery. I remember coming to about 4:30am in a new room with Ben and Ava. I was too tired to do anything and tried to sleep for a few hours (with nurses coming in to bug me for temp. checks and blood pressure monitoring, etc...) I couldn't sleep anymore after about 8am. Even though Ava had passed, it was nice having her in the room with us. It was reassuring in a way. I did finally get to hold her though, without being in so much pain. I enjoyed every second of that. It was even more heartbreaking when someone from the mortuary came and took her out of my room that evening.

We miss her so much and are so thankful we were able to have her even if it was for just a short time. For I know, that I will get to see her again in heaven one day.

Reason for her early delivery: I spiked a fever very quickly after she was born. My doctor said I had a uterine infection which is why everything happened so quickly and nothing could be done to stop it.

Sad news unfortunately :'-(

Yesterday my wife Becky had some complications in her pregnancy and gave birth to our daughter yesterday. Sadly our baby girl, Ava Marie didn't live. My poor wife it was her birthday yesterday also :'-(

Baby Bump Pics

I realize I haven't been good about posting pics of my baby bump. Here are few recent ones.

As a reminder, this was me at about 10 weeks:

Here is me at 17 weeks:


Hers is me at 19 weeks:


I have been feeling the baby kick throughout the day on a daily basis. It is so reassuring after the problems I had early on. We find out in 1 week from today what the baby is (assuming he/she will cooperate). I'll post as soon as we know!

Christmas Season

So this is going to be one enormous post. We had a fairly exciting Christmas season. It was our first year ever making agingerbread house. We bought a kit from Wal-mart. Brad was so excited to make it. Well, we had fun putting it together, but it in no way looked beautiful. The frosting they provided was too runny. Eventhough we followed the instructions and let the house sit before decorating, it still fell apart shortly after taking the pictures.







We had a ward Christmas party this month. The kids were so excited, because Santa was going to visit the party. Since we had never been to this activity before, we assumed the kids would get to sit on Santa's lap (which I promised them they could do). When Santa walked in the room Brad's eyes lit up and Ross said in his sweet little wonder-filled voice, "Santa". Well, Santa gathered the kids and then talked about what Christmas means and then left. Brad was devestated! He was crying, so I told him how Santa would be at the mall later that day, and we could go sit on his lap then. Well, this being the weekend before Christmas, the mall was insane. We must have parked in the farthest spot away from the mall on the opposite side of the mall we needed to be at. Nothing wrong with a little exercise. Then we waited in line for about an hour. The kids were so excited. Well, Ross didn't want to sit on Santa's lap. He was content just looking at Santa. Brad loved sitting on Santa's lap. Santa asked him what he wanted for Christmas. Brad says, "Everything." Santa says, "Even dolls and barbies?" Brad, amazed by this whole experience just says, "Yes." We all laughed.


On Christmas Eve Eve we went to a party at one of Ben's relative's houses. We had a potluck kind of dinner. There was a lot of singing, a few talents, mingling, and more and more eating! hehe It was fun.



On Christmas Eve we let the boys open one present....Pjs of course.


They wanted to wear their Handy Manny Pjs right away. So we put them on and then headed to the Grandparents' houses. First we headed over to Georege and Susan's. We ate dinner then opened gifts. It was a good time. Then we headed over to Doug and Brenda's. Opened gifts and mingled. Then it was back home to prepare for Santa Claus. We got home at 11pm. By the time we got the boys in bed and prepared for Santa it was 1am. Ugh. Too late for a tired pregnant lady!



The boys slept until about 8:30am. Then we had a special breakfast I made (monkey bread, just like my mom makes). It was delicious. And YES we tortured the boys with eating breakfast first and staring at all the gifts. Here are a few pics from that day. We were so blessed by all the many gifts Santa brought us, along with gifts from all our family members. For dinner, I made a big ham dinner. It was delicious. Here is a short list of some of the things we received: Toys, Toys, and more toys, clothes, movies, Wii games, tons of kitchen stuff (YAY!), books, and lots and lots of other stuff. We hope you all had an enjoyable Christmas and wished we could have seen more of you!






This was just a cute pic of Ross multi-tasking. He is chilling out, playing Wii, and drinking his juice. Love it!

November and December Updates

We've had a lot of snow lately, which the kids really love. Here are some pics of the boys sledding with Daddy. These pics were from a snow storm a few weeks ago. They didn't want to come in, of course. Our property is perfect for sledding with the boys. Since we live on the hill, our property is slopped. Not super steep, so perfect for them now.









We also bought the boys new beds, as they are sharing a room now. The only way we could get Brad to move into Ross's room was to buy him a new bed (which he needed anyway). We bought Ross a new toddler bed. He was been doing so well sleeping in his bed and not getting out. He got out once last night and the night before, but once we brought him back to his room, he stayed in bed. I think he loves the freedom of not being caged in his bed anymore. After this change has settled in, the next thing will be potty training! WOOHOO!



We also made gingerbread men cookies. Brad LOVES helping me cook. He helped me make the dough and cut them out. Then we all decorated them once they were done. They were really yummy!



I stopped bleeding (FINALLY!) about 2 weeks ago. We went and listened to the baby's heart beat last week, and everything appears to be fine. I can resume normal activities in a week. I'm dying to go back to my exercise class. On December 28, I have my next doctor appointment and they will also do a glucose test. I told the doctor, I think they missed the gestational diabetes last time with Ross. So he wants to do a glucose test at 18 weeks, and then again at 26 if the 18 week test comes back negative. I hope I don't have gestational diabetes, but at least I could take care of it immediately, and maybe not have an 11 pound baby.

We have decorated inside the house for Christmas, but not outside. It's just too cold, and now way too much snow. Ross has only broken 2 ornaments, and the tree has only been pulled down once. I guess that is pretty good. We are all pretty exited for Christmas. We are going to our ward party tomorrow and Santa will be there. If you ask Brad what he wants for Christmas, he'll tell you "everything." So I guess he'll be happy no matter what Santa brings him.

Finally, Brad wanted to take a picture with him and the baby.

The Sweet Prayers of Children

Brad wanted to say the prayer at dinner time all by himself. Here is roughly how it went:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thankful for this day. Please help Ross to feel better. Please bless Mommy that the baby will come out and not cry in my room. Thankful for this food. Please hope that we can fix the DVD player, so the tape will come out, but the cord doesn't fit, so it doesn't work. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

There were a few more ramblings during this. It was so cute. I was chuckling at parts as was Ben. It was so freaking cute!